Sorry, i deleted my question after i saw your explanation of what happened in the In Session thread.

Some thoughts:

I was surprised that you contacted her from the ER. Why would you call one dr when you were trying to see another dr, re her role as dr. And why wouldnt you call your spouse before her?

So she was unavailable to you for an emergency, kinda with reason, cuz to me that looks like she would be at least 4th or 5th down on the list. I dont understand your hurt.

But then im kinda aspergery. When i went to the ER with a stroke, i only called my t because i was going to miss my appointment the next day. He kinda laughed at me, but gave me support i didnt even know was available.

Ive gone to the ER lots of times without calling anyone. I sit there and wait. I dont understand what you wanted from her.

When you said you emailed her, and "she could answer it or not", you probably hurt her feelings? She saw that you were using her as a mother figure to get nurturance from and to show anger to, but did not see her as a real person.

So it was probably the acting out AFTER the initial call from the ER that damaged the relationship, where you expected her to act like your full-on t, and she rejected that role, not so much you, imo. That role is a big one - maybe she was doing smaller parts of it before?