I hope that it get's much better for you....it has to be sickening to take it on faith what other people are telling you about yourself or yourselves. I imagine it's much like people telling me about the things that I've done that I have no memory of ever doing....sickening, frightening, not believing because if I do....I get sickly scared.

For us...being somewhat co-conscious...we have a group think tank...a way for us to process and to deal with moment to moment daily life.

I think for us knowing that we are multiple....there is an over all system wide feeling of being an oddity and a longing for the impossible: singularity- to be our own persons...that is each of us wants to be our own self....not a conglomeration of everyone else.

I'm sure you have...but have you tried journaling? A way to talk to your Others? Maybe putting pen to paper can open up an inner dialogue with self so that you don't solely rely on word of mouth?....just a thought.

Good luck and keep us posted sweets.