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Originally Posted by Jellyfish18
I am not depressed but I am in trouble. Thanks for your thoughts.
Parents do play a role to a degree. In this case, I am not to blame. This **** hangs up when I am MOST in pain and need help, and purposefully acts like an emotional idiot (like the message is not clear, e.g. asking "why are you shouting" as if she has NO CLUE when I am clearly upset) and like she doesn't "understand". She does, she just acts like she has no idea "what I am talking about". I have met strangers who hated me at first sight, and the degree of disdain they have for me would be less or same. Have you EVER met someone who first you explained your most painful problems to that they KEEP ignoring, and started shouting when they exhibited no empathic advice, and then they ask you in a f'ing calm voice (again trying to ignore the fact you are upset at this point) "why are you shouting?" It's basically trying to DAMAGE and isolate you by their ignorant behaviour, to me. Or let me ask you, would you talk to a retarded person with an IQ of 10 and expect them to give you advice? Except this is a very intelligent person you are talking to, who IGNORES YOUR EMOTIONS and EXPERIENCE. How would you feel knowing that?
Let's say after all this, you hang up the phone. Next time, after DAYS (AVOIDING the matter) they might ring again and go from the very beginning like nothing happened at all. How would you feel? How would it feel knowing all serious and valid problems you have are ignored and taken just like "oh, she'll deal with it" or "oh ... ok. Nothing I can or will do about that. Let's just wait until it goes away."
Please tell me, WHAT would you do in my situation? It is hard for me to even live as I have few people to turn to who care.
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The only thing that I know how to advise you to do is to cut them out your life. I know it's hard but having them in your life is going to only cause more damage to you in the long run.
If you're worried about loneliness than it might be wise to try to make more friends. I know how hard this can be since I'm notorious for being a socially awkward introvert, however, there are ways for people like us to have some kind of social life.
If you have hobbies, you could try finding meetups with people who have similar interests. I am into things like video games, anime, and technology and other "geeky" things so if I'm trying to make friends, I only seek out friendships with people who are into similar things because other people generally don't understand me.
Finally, you could do something like go to college and meet people that way while improving yourself professionally and intellectually. I just started up at a community college earlier this month and doing so was honestly one of the smartest decisions that I've ever made. I get much needed social interaction while feeling like I'm actually doing something of value and not wasting my life anymore like I used to. Many colleges also have great resources such as free student therapists, job placement if you need help with that, student clubs, and a plethora of other benefits. If you're worried about cost, than you could get a FAFSA which would give you financial aid. If you start off at a community college than chances are you wouldn't need a loan and could use grant money to pay for it because of how cheap many community colleges are.
I'm sorry if I'm not more of a help to you. I'm 25 and about to turn 26, yet I have been having to figure out life on my own without help from parents, relatives, or friends because they all failed to help me and teach me how to live as an adult so I've wasted most of my young adult life trying to learn and grow all on my own.
I only hope that you don't have to deal with the B.S that I've had to contend with.