Quote:
Originally Posted by Solnutty
guess we're going to quit drinking. I'm ambivalent about that. I feel like I'm the one who should pick up that chip. Maybe I will. This is Sire. Solnutty is only a mote of consciousness at the moment, and probably won't remember this. I like to drink and be in front. She is easier to push off at times like these. She has some kind of freakish ability to hold on to the eyes. It's rare when we can be truly separate. I enjoy the time without her. Not because I have any animosity towards her, I just like to feel like myself. To be. I was about to say I'm going to miss this relaxation (of having a beer), but I'd rather say I hope I don't. She tells me there are better things. I suppose I know better, but I don't know different. It's hard for me to take hold of those "positive coping skills." Doesn't feel natural. All of us tend to reach for what we know--whether it be drinking or overworking or whatever feels good to us. I can't say I don't agree with everything she says about why we ought to go sober, I just don't want to give up this reliable form of relief. And I know, T has said and I have seen it myself-alcohol messes with our medication. We might find ourselves depressed and sluggish tomorrow. I hate to do that to her. I'm not sure what to do instead.
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I'm going to appear to go a bit off topic here but I will bring it back around - promise.
Anyway, congratulations on your decision. I am an alcoholic/addict who celebrated twenty-five years clean and sober on May 25th so I know the challenges. But here's were I diverge...
My wife spent twenty-five years in prison - from fifteen years old to forty. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people say, 'at fifteen years old you are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong'. The title of this thread says it all though and it is frequently the sentiment that I've shared with those people.
Knowing something is wrong, and having the skills to know what a healthy alternative is, are two different things. I knew drinking and drugs were wrong for me long before I quit, but I didn't have any healthy coping skills to replace their usage with. Sooner or later, the stress would become too great and something had to give. I knew drinking and drugs weren't a good solution, but it was the only one I had.
I wish you the very best on your endeavor and if I can offer any support or assistance, my PM box is open.