it is always easier to hold on to the coping skill you have even if it is harmful than it is to try to learn new healthy coping skills to replace them.

i used to cope in two harmful ways (self harm and eating disorder). for the first few months/years, they helped but then morphed into more of an addiction than anything. i found it so hard to deal with them but was stuck in the horrible cycles they caused. it took me several years (and appropriate help) to learn how to manage them so they were not what i ran to (also because the eating disorder nearly took my life/caused me to take my life, so there was not much choice there but to try to manage it). they were really more harmful, and i had a love/hate (more hate) relationship with them. i can remember when i would resist the urges and literally would shake because they were so intense. it was horrible.

i am so much happier years later now that they are not a part of my everyday life. i have been able to grow so much more without having them hinder things.