I too wanted to Understand therapy when I first started. My T works analically also and would only smile when I asked her. She did mention once that the way it works in becoming a T one must have undergone their own analyst. This really explains it all for me, since I've now been with her for 3yrs I know how it works, I am listened to, my feelings are reflected back to me in a way I get to understand them, I am finally cherished by someone and heard, I internalise my T's good enought ways and get to replace the not good enought tape in my head, it takes time to take in this experience, its not something someone can just get. LIfe is all about a life time of change, we change each time we meet someone in life.