Hey guys,
In a bad place right now, so I'm glad I logged on to see your responses. Its bittersweet to know that others have had to deal with such judgments. I already judge myself enough as it is. As far as finding my identity after being in a stronghold of a relationship, I still struggle. The way I think about it is...How can I have a stable sense of self, when I have always look to others to feel whole. And when those people fail you, It really is a wake up call to do the work. Its so difficult when you are dealing with fluctuation of mood, negative thoughts and feeling impulsive. I cant say I know where I stand in this life. All I know is I struggle with self image and self esteem issues, which causes me to want to escape my reality. In escapism, I end up feeling even worse about myself. Its a vicious cycle to which I see no end. I'm in a DBT group for the second time around, and I feel like I'm just there. Reading the material in group, but then coming home to concepts that feel like an impossible feat. I will be posting something more personal tonight. Feeling a bit scatter brained right now. Thanks again guys, and awareness, advocacy and educating oneself could prevent so much hurt. Maybe time are changing...We shall see.