I went through something relatively minor that I just wasn't ready for 35 years ago and never told a single soul until I told my T last year. It surely is what messed you up. I think sex is sort of a primal and an emotional experience so the things we experience sexually that scare us, devalue us, etc leave their mark. It was hard for me to talk about it to--just the thought gave me panic attacks before word one and the panic attacks continued for a few sessions. But judging by the emotions that talking about it released--it was good for me to deal with it. It will make you think about the perp all of the time for a little while (which is disgusting) but then you will process it. You will then get to a place where you think very little about the event and talking about it will probably help you with your emotional and physical intimacy problems. It may be a tough process for a few sessions but it will be so so worth it!