Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
Also I would suggest you look up "Child Emotional Neglect" or "CEN" because it is highly probable that this is what you have had to deal with in your life. There are some amazing resources on PC if you head over to the "CEN" forums and check out the Psych Central blog.
There are also a number of amazing people on here that you could talk to and befriend in the meantime so that you don't feel completely alone. I know it's not the same as having somebody in real life to hang out with but it's better than having nobody.
As much as I hate to admit it, I would probably be lost without PC. If it wasn't for some of these people on here, I would probably be either dead, in prison, or in a psyche ward right now. When I first came here, I was completely lost in the darkness. Up until maybe a few months ago, life was an outright struggle for me. It took some of the advice and help I have received here for me to pull through.
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Thanks for telling me, Darkness. Do you want to hear a shocker now?
You know I thought I could have an honest chat with that bastard (male, refer to first post) but actually, oh. my. God. He called to ask what I am doing. Then I tried to expand the conversation. Right, get this. We talked about how we argue with mother (he said "yeah I am really "interested" why you two argue all the time"), that I have no friends (he said "yeah you have no friends, what can I do about that? All I can do is introduce you."), said I don't "listen" to him (wait for it, I see this hobo less than once a year sometimes), said I am "lonely" and he can't help me at all, said "you do nothing and you aren't working anywhere"(which has been the case for the LAST MONTH),
said "I will ask grandma (his Mum) if she "would allow" you to stay at hers because of how you "behaved" there last time", and I was also explaining at some point how I felt about my cousins (that they may or may not be rejecting me - to which he said "yeah exactly" to which I said "what do you mean?" - him: "you might be right" - me: "can you explain?" - to which he says he IS IN A HOUSE FULL OF SAID COUSINS AS WE SPEAK. This is private thoughts just 'splayed out for all. Would you cry or laugh in disbelief? Did he really think that I, an international student, could be shamed because of what he speaks about me in front of people who I actually care about (he knows that)? They for sure are entitled to their opinion. But the funniest thing is, this little b**ch hardly ever works and earns very little, and at nearly 60 does not even have his own home. At one point, he called mother "sick" as a "joke". And the funniest, when I see him he pretends to be "so affectionate" toward me, like "he really cares about "this poor, shamed, lonely kid"". Wait for it, I was a decent straight A student. Can you IMAGINE?
People have said "he is not what he pretends to be, he is not this slick guy". Now I see he is the lowest of hobos, this behaviour is something you would expect from some criminal.
Wait for it. Mother says "it's your fault because you "shouted". Oh yeah, she is slightly reclusive, and emotionally ignores everything AS WELL AS all achievements. Again I ask, how normal is this family?
You know, I don't care about others' choices.
But I don't want to be lonely nor bereft, I have so much to give and have trouble sometimes because there is NO SUPPORT.
How normal is this family?