I've had many limitations, the physical conditions along with BP II and c-PTSD.
This all limits how much and how often I can participate. I seem to use up any energy I have in simply attending to my marriage and helping my elderly mom who lives with us.

More energy would be helpful for getting in socialization.

That said, I also feel a bit awkward in large social groups. I've had some very insensitive remarks made to me because I am "disabled." Some people think one cannot be disabled an intelligent. I also tend to feel somehow inadequate and "marked," like a tattoo on my forehead sets me apart. My life is not "normal" and I feel awkward in some groups.

How do I stop the cycle?

I'm not sure. If I did not have challenging physical/medical issues, it might be easier to have more energy to do more? Right now, my meds also have a lot of side-effects to endure. I lose my balance quickly. If/when I can take on extra, I think it's best to "just do it!"

I need to think more about this. Great topic!


WC