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I don't believe you were being mean. We each have the right to donate to whatever causes we want. You expressed your rationale very well in your first post. Now, if you had gone to the mother and told her to her face what you said here, THAT would have been mean.
As a side note - I have zero tolerance for people who drive drunk. Yes, sometimes it's part of an addiction, sometimes it's not. For me getting behind the wheel when you've been drinking comes down to making the choice to do so. At the same time, I have empathy for this young man's family. They are being impacted by his choice.
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