I personally believe if it's the therapist that randomly brings it up,flat out asks the client if they have sexual fantasies about them,and what they are,a person should bolt out the door and not go back.To me that would seem like they are encouraging that type of thing and it could lead down a wrong path.Even if there is erotic transference going on I feel it's wrong for the therapist to bring it up.But if the client brings it up and then the T asks questions,like what the fantasies are,that's completely different.

I talked to my T about the fantasies I was having about him and his wife,being sandwiched in between them,all of us having sex together.It was very helpful to talk about it and to understand why.But if he had asked me if I ever fantasized about him without ever bringing it up myself,I would have never returned to see him again.

Once I was talking about witnessing a rape as a child,I went into detail about what I saw,there was awkward silence and then he asked "did you see anything that you now will never do sexually?".At the time I was so upset over the question that I refused to answer him.I think some questions just shouldn't be asked by a therapist until the timing is right,after the client brings it up first,or it can do harm.And it's unethical.