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Old Dec 15, 2007, 01:45 PM
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magasanguis magasanguis is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Posts: 181
@salukigirl:
I suppose I should have made it more clear how I actually treat her. What I posted is my raw feeling, but I'm constantly parsing it so that it's as inoffensive yet effective for her. It's apparent to me that we have this "age" difference... But I know better than to let her know it. I would never bring it up as "You're just being immature." I don't know anyone who would like to be told that sort of thing... Nevertheless, I keep in mind this difference when I'm talking to her so that I don't end up saying something that could be misconstrued.

And trust me, she has made me aware of all of my flaws. She has defined me, at least in her own mind, and when I try to change for her, simply to show her that I care(d) enough to do so, she not only doesn't pick up on it at all, but CONTINUES to tell me who or what I am. There's irony in the fact that she's telling me I "can't change," while her perception of me seems to be stubborn.

This is one of my issues with her. I don't want to be friends with someone who has such a narrow view of me. I will not ask her to change something as deep as a mindset, but if she wants me as a friend, then that is something that she will have to change. The choice is hers.

@Sabby:
I always thought that we were very similar people... I think we're growing in the same basic direction, just at different rates.

I don't want to argue with her over these deep issues. I never wanted to have the conversation we did in the first place. What happened was, she asked what was on my mind. I said, "Nothing, don't worry about it." She replied, "You know I hate when you don't tell me what's bothering you." So I told her, it was philosophical questions that plauge me from time to time. I never asked for her opinion, but she gave it anyway. "That's stupid. Just say that God did it."

In retrospect, I should have left then and there.

I've felt recently that we should just keep our friendship superficial. She's fun, and we laugh a lot. But apparently this isn't possible. I've tried to control myself and reign myself in, but she desperately wants someone she can talk to about anything with.

You predicted right in saying there are things in her life that affect our discussions. That's something that I personally don't like. She said more than once, "I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood." She's in a bad mood a lot of the time, and she doesn't want me to help because she thinks I'm too judgmental. Instead, she goes to my other friend (who tells her the same things that I do, but she doesn't accept it coming from me). (By the way: said other friend was a kind of mediator in this past fight, and he defended me.)

Apparently she thinks I attacked her. She may have taken offense to something I said, but that's not my fault, because I was stating my opinion. I never attacked her, but she may have taken it that way because my opinion differs from hers.

There's a lot here... Power to you if you actually read it all.
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-The Gathering, "A Life All Mine"

The Bite-Sized Truth