Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
but its like...
the information will not internalize
they can explain something to me and i just wont understand...
its like i just cant understand... its like i am retarded or something...
maybe i just dont want to understand... but i really do want to so bad i cant understand how i could not want to...
how is it possible for information to be inside of you... in front of you... all around you... and you just dont "get it"... dont "see it" ... ect...
im getting so tired of myself... but not of myself... of the illness... if i am even ill... maybe it is all just in my head like some have said... maybe im just making it all up and thats why i cant understand... because there is nothing there to understand... nothing there to make sense of...
i just feel so empty right now i dont know what to think or what i feel...
i dont really want to talk more about it because i feel so stupid and like i just keep making people angry at me and making my ownself angry and making everything worse by talking about it so i just want to stop
but i guess these are last attempts to make sense of something i cant make sense of before giving up...
it hurts.. i just wish i could understand... i should have all of the information... i just cant understand... and i dont know why...
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yea doing drugs and weed can cause a persons brain to do this where they can no longer understand things. my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers tell them when they are using words you dont understand and they will tell you again in another way and even write it down for you. its part of ADA and treatment provider ethics to supply information on the same level of understanding as needed complete with supplying the information in writing, tape, audio or sign language.
if you tell them you dont understand and you need the information supplied in another form and they do not do so you report them to your locations civil rights department for violation of your rights as a handicapped/ mentally challenged person. you can also report them to your states clinical social workers board for violations of ADA laws. in both a hearing will be held where you give your testimony that you can not understand them and what they tell you and that you have asked that they use different words and ways of communication. then they give their testimony and evidence for their side and then those in charge of the hearing will decide whether your treatment provider violated your rights by not providing the information in forms that you can understand.
bottom line is they cant talk to you in words you understand unless you tell them you dont understand them...
what Im confused about though and may be why they think you can understand them...
you do very well with understanding all the research papers, abstracts and other researching you are doing online, these things are college level and treatment provider level language and information that you have been reading and understanding.. so Im wondering what is it that you dont understand that your treatment providers are telling you.
heres a suggestion since you understand and can fit your symptoms and problems into/ see yourself in all this researching you are finding online maybe you can start there. print off what you are finding and give it to your treatment providers. tell them you want them to talk to you like the language and sentence structure as in these abstracts/ thesis papers and diagnostics that you are finding and feeling like they fit you and your problems. I wouuldnt be surprised if they start talking to you like those papers are...on a college/ treatment provider level of understanding.