Dear Satsuma,
I think about you really often as well. And I wish too that I could have been there and helped you at those horrible moments, for real, not just in the imagery. I would have been able to stand up for you and I would have called the police as well.
But I can't tell you that I have those thoughts too, because it's not my job as your T. My job as your T is to help you become empowered, so that one day you will feel that you don't need me any more. Then I will know that I've done a good job.