You need to talk to a therapist what you've done in your past you can not change but you do need to deal with them in some way. You may have to come clean to your wife but talk it over with a licences therapist first.

Yes bullies can be that mean to put that up but she could have also not realizing what danger she's really in. If it is bullying it needs to be brought up to the superintendent. Google your wife's name and see if it pops up that way.

As for that opening Pandora's box. Remember now your in treatment, you're learning your warning signs and getting help when needed. It really sounds like you need therapy to accept your past and learn how to move on from here.