Well, it is possible that the individual that texted her actually was telling her about a job in the field as it may be a co-worker that is also an LPN or RN even. It could be different hours in a different place or area.

The challenge for you is your trust concern, that is understandable and that can be brought up if you can get into marriage counseling.

Ahhhh, I tried to warn you about bringing up the drinking because if there is a problem a few things need to be considered. It is not unusual for a person who has a problem to not realize they have a problem. Also, if there is a problem it's something that is denied and not only that but from my experience, pointing it out can be met with anger and turning things around to "it's your imagination, nothing is wrong with me, nothing wrong with drinking some wine to relax" scenario.

I recommended keeping an eye on the drinking, also the mood changes as it's not unusual for someone who has developed a problem to be "grumpy" when they are NOT drinking alcohol. Also, it's not unusual for the person to not even be consciously aware of their mood changes when they drink on the weekend for example and then don't during the week. Yet, saying something like you did is risky because the priority of seeing a counselor should have come first IMO.

You have some challenges with this because you "did" have some poor behaviors and issues with anger and you can't "just" wipe your history away. You ARE trying, but you will run into some challenges that you may respond to in ways that are not helpful. It will take time when you get a negative response to step back and "soften" and say something along the lines of "yes, I do admit that I am struggling with trust, so that is why I want us to work with a counselor, so we can improve on this".

I think the two of you have a tendency to do a hit an run with your communication and you need to learn how to actually sit through what can be uncomfortable conversations.
You both have "trust issues and boundary issues". I think you "both" have a question of "will this work or should we end our relationship".

Thinking "my wife used to be this or that" is not going to really work too well because NOW your wife is growing as a person and she doesn't want to go back to being the doormat or "unappreciated" that she had experienced from you.

This is how your therapist can connect with her and help her and you separately and then together. And that is what your focus should be on the most right now. Your wife just agreed to counseling, and that's a big step, but that's like agreeing to go to a pool, the next thing is actually going and then jumping in and going for a swim.