Couldn't think of the proper place to put this, so I'll try here

I've told a few people I've started jiu jitsu and it's been tough.

I did tell the instructor that I had been assaulted twice. I didn't give him details and he doesn't know that it was rape and I didn't tell him about a kidnapping. He doesn't know that I dissociate and have other disorders, like PTSD.

He did recommend private training, but the lasts thing I want is to be alone with ANY man.

Lately, it's been very triggering and others in the team have noticed that I act a bit odd. I can't roll (fight) with males without dissociating or having weak panic attacks. Jiu jitsu is triggering enough. Add men and it's worse.

Whenever I try to sit out on something, I'm pressured into trying it and not allowed to sit out. I try not to complain but it does get to me.

I was thinking about telling him again, or another member after some time,but I hardly know them and don't really trust them yet. I was also thinking about if I should just tough it out...? I really love the sport and training, but it's getting to be too much and I have to take a few days off just to be able to recover and push myself to return again.
I have that or am I doomed to be a quitter?

(Therapy is not an option an this point in time until I graduate and have a free schedule.)