Thanks, Luco. I'm definitely glad I brought up the intimacy stuff, even though I was afraid. I e-mailed T to tell her, and she said "kudos for being so brave." I'm not sure "brave" is the right word to me. I think I've just hit a point where I realize that if I just keep everything inside, it's not going to get me anywhere. I felt like I had to take the chance that H would be offended by what I said, or else we'd just be stuck in this rut forever.

Of course I'm worried I'll push the "being open about my feelings" thing too far (whether with H or someone else) and things will come crashing down around me...