My relationship with T has grown by leaps and bounds. And with that growth has come respect, trust and love.

Yesterday I called him. I was in lousy shape and needed to talk. He didn't call back and finally I fell asleep.

When I woke up this morning and realized he hadn't returned my call I was not angry. I trusted that there was a reason. (This is a first for me.)

When we finally connected today he explained that he had switched service providers and didn't get my message until very late. He apologized profusely and I told him I was not angry, that "%#@&#! happens."

We had a discussion about my sadness, self-attack (cutting), the need to release deep emotion and the need to recontextualize those things that change in life that we cannot control.

We talked about self-care with a sense of purpose. I was quiet and thoughtful and then said, "Okay I can do this. I'll see you next week."

I truly feel a partnership--an alliance with T. He is with me. I am safe with him. This has been a long time in the making.