It is 3:30 am and I am wide awake because my flashbacks are so bad. I don't understand why I can't stop this. I go several weeks and do ok and then the nightmares, flashbacks, paranoia etc comes back. When he was choking me why didn't he just finish me off. I do not want to end my life but if he would have done it when he was beating the crap out of me then I would not been going through this. I HATE this so bad! PTSD is so scary! I wish I could get my mind right. I don't know what to do anymore. Therapy gives me tools to use but sometimes they don't work. I just can't catch a break from this at all.