Hi,
I'm struggling with my mood currently. My anxiety disorders are getting worse by the week and i'm too depressed to utilize the CBT i've learned to turn the tide back the other way.

I've had poor experience with anti-depressants in the past. The only two that had a positive effect were: Mirtazapine and fluoxetine -
Mirtazapine at 15mg made me sleep 20hours a day, whereas 30mg didn't make me too sleepy and worked very well on my mood and motivation. Unfortunately after one month it stopped working.
Fluoxetine at 40mg helped (i think~?) it was a long time ago so i'm not entirely sure... what it did do was give me extreme apathy and depersonalization so i stopped it.

That's the problem with all the SSRIs for me; the numbing. It is horrendous, leaving me feeling empty.

However, i'm consistently feeling bad these days. I'd guess about 97% of the time i'm feeling unpleasant feelings, not joy, peace or any sort of elation.
I also seem to be so 'fused' with my anxiety just lately, that i'm not even aware i'm avoiding things and stuck in compulsions...

I really think i need to give medication another try. I've been considering giving the SSRI + anti-psychotic combination a try.
Do you think adding an anti-psychotic will increase the apathy and depersonalization effect from the SSRI?

I'm concerned with side effects from taking an anti-psychotic - but i really need a good year were a can focus on my recovery.
I think i either need a benzodiazepam or an anti-psychotic medication in combination with a SSRI
Any idea which out of a benzodiazepam of anti-psychotic would be best for use in a therapeutic context; given i have mood and anxiety issues?
Also which SSRI i might try next, i've tried - Sertraline, Fluoxetine, Bupropion, Mirtazapine, Escitalopram.

cheers for any thoughts on this,
C