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What do you need the energy for? Why would anyone want you dead; are you that important?
I don't think it's a problem. Just don't assume anything. You assume too much.
And don't take any benzos, because they may make matters worse.
And we all live in alternate realities. It's difficult to varying degrees, but that's life.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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