I'm sorry this has been a difficult time for you. I hope that having ended things for good, that you will feel some relief and freedom. Even if he was only a friend, it seems to me that you were in bondage to the turmoil it was causing you. Go forward, be free and find joy.
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I don't think we were compatible as friends either. People don't always understand how we were able to be friends after there relationship. We weren't compatible as bf and gf though. IDK. I've never been able to do it with anyone else I've dated.
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Friendship following a break up isn't typically do-able. It may be in some situations but usually it's not. The problems related to the intimate relationship don't usually completely go away because you've broken up, so it makes sense that your feelings about how he was treating you continued into the friendship. You did the right thing.