Sire here. I went and picked up that chip at Solnutty's Celebrate Recovery meeting. Our good friend even came along for support. It was good. I got a lot out of the meeting. I am extremely glad I did that. I even shared with the group.
We've been torn about talking about our dx, but we decided we don't need to. I came forward and talked--it was awkward to use Sol's name of course, but we have realized that most people are going to register the changes of personality as changes of mood. They don't know us at all outside the meeting. And if it proves to be confusing for listeners, so what? It was so good to have support, and listen to others talk about similar struggles. It makes me feel...real. So I'm going to go back. Thanks all, for your support. It is so strange for me to have contact with others outside the system. I've been so cloistered. But this forum and that meeting are safe places, and these are the closest things I've ever experienced to having a group of friends. Like a blind man seeing color for the first time, I didn't realize that being heard and hearing others could help so much. I'm kind of getting something of what T is trying to teach us about attachment and trust.
Maybe I will even learn to reach out for help with my pain instead of just dwelling on it and drinking I can't see those colors right now, but I have something to hope for. And, I want to pick up my next chip.