Of course I am a little afraid. But I would like to start over. People say that when you are immersed in a new language it is like being a baby because you don't understand anything. Also I like German films and culture. Music and philosophy.

I am very disenchanted with the U.S.

Similarly I would like to kill myself. But what that really means is that I would like to be born again. I want to leave everything behind including myself. I am rotting away. I am dead the way I am now. Weeeds have overtaken me. I need to pull them out and force my mind open again.