It sounds like your physical mind is fueling these perceptions your describing. The physical mind (product of the body) is not a reflection of your higher transcendental nature. The physical mind is the contributing part of our psyche (during the human experience) that influences us to perceive that we are our physical bodies, and influences us to perceive that we are separate from everyone and everything else. This is ultimately an illusion. The physical mind influences you (your state of consciousness) to perceive that you will cease to exist after physical 'death' because it's the physical body which will eventually cease to exist (and the physical mind/brain is rooted in that body!). Your biological matter (physical form) did not create Consciousness (Conscious Energy) - rather it's Consciousness (Conscious Energy) that is having a 'human experience' through your current physical body/form. The Conscious Energy is always primary (comes first).

My recommendation to you would be to begin seriously exploring Near-Death Experience accounts (not just a few, but very many) - and then spending the time to reflect upon and contemplate the details and the profound implications. Explore how individuals say their lives have changed as a result of what they discovered during those special experiences. This can prove to be extremely liberating.

Another thing is this... So you've found yourself preoccupied focusing on the perceived 'end'... Well what about the beginning? What came before all this? What is the substance of reality and of existence? Surely everything didn't come about for no reason, and from nothing, only to return to nothing - right? Try shifting your emphasis from contemplating the perceived 'end' to instead questioning and contemplating where everything originates from - and why... Adopting this approach will have the effect of gradually altering your state of awareness and this will ultimately transform the way you think about and perceive these matters.