My T made a relaxation tape with me. She talks about how I am a good person on the tape. When she said that in session, I started crying and got a intense desire to hug her. I couldn't even remember what she had said to make me cry. She referenced part of what she had said and it didn't even sound familiar to me. While walking home, I rewinded the tape to the area where I knew she had said it. I knew everything that she said before it and after it. As soon as I got into my apartment, I played that part two or three times. I have been listening to the tape periodically for about a month. I still want to hug T when I hear it. I laid in bed and listened to it this morning. I don't cry anymore when I hear it but I still want to hug T. I decided to be really weird and I wrote the word, "I am a good person." on all of my appoinment reminder cards. I have one in my work uniform, one where I brush my teeth and one by my bed/phone.
Do I sound like I am obsessed with my T? I told T about my collection of appoinment reminder cards but have not seen her since I wrote the words, "I am a good person." She calls it "praise for being" rather than "praise for doing." I love thinking those words everytime I see one of her appointment reminder cards. Its funny but my brain sometimes sounds like a trained dog working for a treat. See card. Think "I am a good person." I want to see myself as a good person and hope this silly idea might help me.
Does anyone out there do positive affirmations? If so what are yours and do you feel silly doing it? I used to have a "feel good tape" that I made with a collection of Bible verses, positive affirmations and other quotes but I feel funny about saying positive things to myself out loud. I don't know why. I have been known to insult myself to others and out loud to myself.
Sorry about the rambling.