Rainbowzz, hunny,
I so admire you right now! You are one strong and intelligent woman!
I agree with the others here that this fella...the father of your baby...is not worthy of you, or, for that matter, to be part of your baby's life! Yes, it would be wonderful if he would "MAN UP!!!!" and step forward to be supportive to you emotionally and financially during this special time, but it doesn't seem to be his nature.
I am concerned for you. I would suggest that you stop looking at his "journal"...online. He is a cad, and you need to take care of yourself and your baby.
Love,
Patty