After a careful review, I now realize I have been in a deep depression for 30 months (2.5 years – Since Jan. 2015). I also realize that I have only been fully functional for about 9 months out of the 30 months. I have come to the realization that it takes me longer to get things done. Over the last 30 months, I’ve accomplished the following:

1. Finished school with my first Master’s Degree in December of 2014.
2. Started a Business in March of 2015
3. Formed a nonprofit 501c3 and served one client in late 2014 and 2015.

I’ve been in the hospital twice over the 30 months with bouts of mania and psychosis. My combined hospital stay has been about a month. For 21 months, I’ve mainly slept and stayed in bed. It is hard for me to shower, dress and face the world.The medicine I’m currently on makes me feel stagnated. I accomplished those three things while being primarily off my meds. I am struggling to find the right mix of meds that will allow me to function better. I have a new pdoc with counselors that come out to the house twice a week. So, that is a plus.

I think I can be hopeful about dealing with the depression better. I have a pdoc appointment coming up and I want to be able to tell her what is going on with me. There are some things I want to do. I want to:

1. Start and complete a 2nd Masters Degree
2. Build my business further
3. Build my nonprofit further

Some say I am aiming too high but with the right support system, I think I can do it. If I can just manage to pull myself up by the bootstraps.