Thread: This is Torture
View Single Post
 
Old Jun 27, 2017, 10:30 PM
ramonajones ramonajones is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by fishwithoutabowl View Post
Ramona is so so right: I would just run, and instantly stop any contact with your therapist. You will go through hell for a while, but you will get through it and over it. I too have seen so many patients here stay in this situation of transference for (many) years without change. I myself have been in such a situation (well in fact I was in a romantic relationship with my doctor which was traumatizing in itself), and the transference never 'disappeared'. If anything it got more intense, and just like Ramona said: I lost years this way since it was all-consuming, both mentally as well as physically. I came out of it completely broken, and things will not be fixed anymore. I personally do not believe at all in 'working through transference'. I do believe that if you have a healthysocial life, with sufficient social support (which granted, many of us here may not have), hobbies/passions that are of interest to you you may be less vulnerable and less at risk to end up in a connection in which transference is present to such great extents. So I would not pain yourself for years to come, losing money (the therapeutic relationship may focus more on the relationship between you and the therapist in the end than on anything else), time on this, and I would run. I don't believe transference in the therapeutic relationship is something to work through with a happy ending, I believe that as long as you deal with a lot of insecurities, and/or a difficult situation 'at home', with a lack of social support, you are risk for transference to occur in painful ways within the therapeutic relationship - or outside.
I had an abusive, exploitative experience, I know, but I also really struggle now to think of how it could have worked out "well"--like how could it have? Has anyone on here worked through erotic transference in a way that empowered them?

Lucozader: you've said yourself "this is torture." Does your T know you're feeling tortured? What relief is he offering?
Hugs from:
fishwithoutabowl
Thanks for this!
fishwithoutabowl