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He doesn't want to raise any suspicion because I'm not the only one who has brought it to his attention
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So others have noticed his questionable behaviors too & others have even brought it to his attention? He got angry with you, did he get angry at them too? He doesn't think there is anything wrong with his behaviors when others noticedç fg anything wrong?
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It's because he's told me of his past, his mistakes, his flaws..and how badly he wants to change, that as a friend, he's asked me to hold him accountable for some things.
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So Let me get this straight:
*You & others have noticed his questionable behaviors.
*He asked you to hold him accountable for behaviors like this
*You did what he asked you to do.
*Then he gets angry at you & cusses you out for doing what he asked you to do in the first place?
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He was deeply hurt with what I accused him of and how I questioned his integrity, honor, and character (this is something he prides himself on)
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Huge contradiction between these last 2 quoted statements regarding him. He wouldn't have needed to ask you to hold him accountable for behaviors if there was no problem with them showing a lack of integrity, honor & character that he didn't pride himself on.
He should be THANKING YOU for pointing out that his suspicious behavior habbit has shown itself again & that you discretely pointed it out via texts to make him aware that the behavior he ASKED YOU to hold him accountable for was indeed showing up in his actions. It was the behavior he asked you to hold him accountable for & behaviors are behaviors regardless of WHO the behavior was being done to.
When you ask someone to hold a behavior accountable there has to be a level of judgment there in the first place as he is asking you to judge whether his behavior fits the pattern that he has asked to be held accountable for.
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I should not have even messaged him from the beginning because I should have just trusted the fact that he would never do something like that,
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It's because he's told me of his past, his mistakes, his flaws..and how badly he wants to change, that as a friend, he's asked me to hold him accountable for some things.
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He would never do something like that? That kind of behavior is exactly what he asked you to hold him accountable for...irrelavent as to who he is doing tyhe behavior with....IT'S THE BEHAVIOR he asked you to hold him accountable for.
That's like shooting the messenger he hired to deliver the message.
There is definitely a flaw in both your concepts.
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Part of him feels like we just need to give each other space, another part of him thinks we should just draw the line and keep it a professional relationship. He says he still cares, but how he displays it might be different than what we're used to.
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So he NO LONGER wants you to hold him accountable for the behavior he is struggling with?....that comes through loud & clear.