I wonder at times too if she does things on purpose to trigger or assess where I am... then I think I am just being paranoid and I still have a ways to go in this process. My T has told me several times that she does not do that. From some of the books I have read, they have said that a T doesn't need to do that because just the fact that they are human will result in these types of things to occur when looking at things over a long enough time period.

At the same time, they call what the do for us ... interventions and suggest changing techniques/methods as needed for specific interventions. So why wouldn't intentionally doing something that is potentially triggering be considered just a form of intervention?

If you've been following my story, you'd know that my T is moving from clinic to private practice and I will be going with her. I have wondered if the last Wednesday's session of telling me that she couldn't see me on what will be my first regular session day after the move wasn't done just so that she could come back with a.. 'look, we can meet. see me take care of you or show you that your needs are important' intervention.

There was also something done with the chairs in her office on this past Monday. I'm still writing up the session notes on it; but basically, I get in the office and the only chair for me to use is one that I've had issues with in the past and pretty much refused to sit in it. So, did she purposely take out the chair I usually use? Did she purposely not locate me a different chair when she noticed there was only the one chair? Did she not even notice until I got in the room and stood there a bit hesitant as to how to proceed? (btw, she is in a shared office clinic so who knows who moved the chair)

I am sorry that this has triggered you. I have been there before - the urge to run far away (run away from home?) to protect myself from the pain, hurt, and other not fun feelings. I don't have words of advice on how not to be a hermit. There's been times where that is all that happened for the time period and other times some random thing would happen and all of a sudden the emotions are gone/deflated, possibly put into perspective of being self induced drama. This is not to say that the feelings are not real. Because they are very real, very painful, and very hard. It takes courage to allow yourself to feel these things and to decide to live through them and not run from them.