I should confess that when I saw "Psych Central," I didn't think Psychiatric. I thought Psychology.

I have not been formally diagnosed with Codependency or Social Anxiety. I've had to work to figure these things out on my own, while trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and why I was having so many problems.

I had to figure it out on my own, after going through a few therapists who weren't understanding what was going on, and then going through almost a year of being unemployed and not being able to get a therapist because the ones in my area do not accept Obama Care.

Only recently was I able to get a therapist via Medi-Cal, after getting past that year where I technically earned too much to qualify.

The current therapist that I have does not understand things like Codependency. He was also caught off-guard when I mentioned "gaslighting," and he expressed intrigue with this concept. I printed off some materials from the "Psychology Today" website. I was surprised that I had to explain it to him.

During our last session, he said that he wanted to test my intelligence. Long story short, I got emotionally manipulated by a cancer scammer, and it ruined my life. He said that I "didn't appear to be autistic," so he wanted to test my intelligence, because he can't figure out why I'd fall for it.

I did tell him that I thought intelligence had nothing to do with it, and that emotional manipulation seemed to be at play.

I'm still going to take the intelligence test, out of pure curiosity, but I think that I might need to find another therapist.

After that experience, I decided to find a forum where I might be able to get thoughts and ideas from others. Knowing what is going on and intellectualizing it doesn't fix it. I learned this while reading up on "Learned Helplessness," when I was struggling with the idea that it doesn't matter how hard I try or what I do, that everything will fail and it's pointless.

At any rate, I came to the conclusion that my Codependency was leaving me wide open, like having a neon sign over my head inviting Pathological Narcissist and exploiters to take advantage of me. Building self-esteem has been my goal, as well as understanding why I sometimes revert to a child-like state, where I'm afraid to make decisions, because someone or something is intimidating.

I've gotten lots of help from videos and books by authors like Ross Rosenberg, who views Codependency as "Self-Love Deficit Disorder." I never really did love myself, and I'm starting to figure out why.

So, my misunderstanding of "Psych" was how I ended up here. I hope to be able to participate in conversations, in an effort to understand what's going on in my head, and how I can put in the actual work to deal with it all.

Thanks to everyone who has read this. I truly appreciate it.