Hi Adventurous,

I can imagine it must be a scary feeling for you. I would suggest that you contact people in the BDSM community who will look at you as normally as we do, and will guide you in your practice and feelings in a safe & loving manner. Please do not berate yourself and seek out like minded people as soon as possible.

They will give you techniques of control and once you feel in control of your emotions all will be well.

Good Luck x