Sorry guys, I feel like I've failed to communicate what really concerns me here. It's not the history I'm focused on (though I do recognize the historical plight of women). It's not knowing how to still be a guy while not hurting, using, or objectifying anyone. It feels to me like following my basic biological drives and indeed, my nature, puts me at odds with what women need in order to feel respected.

Maybe an example would help. Men want and need sex more than women (in my experience). It's oppressive and selfish to expect them to have sex more than they want to. But where does that leave us with our own needs? Our only recourse seems to be to disconnect from our own feelings in order to be a good person. But that's hardly satisfying. So without returning to a mindset of "a wife's duty", how do we reconcile the differences between the sexes in a relationship?

This is a simple example but expanded to cover a million different issues, the model holds.

So it's not history that I'm focused on, it's the present and figuring out how to be a guy in a way that eliminates my own self hatred (i.e., allows the male identity to be more well rounded), satisfies my own needs, and treats others with dignity, respect, and understanding.

Cyran0