Hello everyone, I know this post may be a little long but hopefully it sheds some light on what happened, and maybe someone can help me deal with this event.

This past weekend I ended up getting extremely drunk/blackout drunk and having a gay experience with a close friend of mines. The bits and pieces I have are very disturbing to me, and I dont know how to address it with him. I am not gay, and do not identify as such. However I have no problem with the LGBT community as my close friend himself is gay. However I feel as though I may have been taken advantage of, but then not so much.

It was Saturday night, and I was out on the town with another friend drinking and partying to excess. I started drinking around 10pm and didn't stop because I have a tendency to binge drink. In the midst of being out and drinking I ended up losing my house keys and needed a place to crash for the night until I could get a replacement in the morning, and the closest person to me was my close friend who was more than happy to let me crash there. I specified that I just needed a place to stay for the night, and I didnt intimate anything more than that in my texts. He agreed and I got dropped off there. I remember him telling me that he was drunk too and had been out the same night and had just gotten home. We laughed at how drunk we were and that was that. I asked for a blanket and crashed on the floor.

I vaguely remember everything that happened but I remember being awaken to him over top of my giving me a blow job, and I was just so drunk that I laid my head back down. I remember telling him to stop and trying to push him off me but he was reluctant, I wasnt aroused and couldnt even perform. I don't know how but he ends up taking out condoms and lube and asks me to perform **** sex to him and I remember the condom being on and him trying to insert me with his hands. However I just wasn't aroused and forced him off of me.

After that I ended up passing out again, and woke up confused and in my underwear and felt really ashamed and guilty and just had to leave. We haven't talked since then because I don't know what to say, i feel awkward talking about it and I feel bad for even putting myself in that predicament.

I know just the act itself doesn't make me gay, but just the thought that I was even involved in M/M activity is messing with my psyche. What should I do?