Cy- Take the blanket off. Maybe take the kids outside. Build a snowman with them. I know winter sucks and you don't like it but it's just a suggestion. I'm finding that if I get my butt out of the house I feel better. Not always a permanent fix but what you need is disstraction my friend. I'm glad you have people to support you. It's so important to not be alone. However, we must be our own support at times and figure out our own coping mechanisms.

Instead of thinking about what taking your own life would do to your family , think about what taking the life of this beast called depression would do for you and your family. Ultimately it is our own decision to fight and that's what you have to do right now. All of us here are right behind you. We've got your back man.