I decided I wanted to be an occupational therapist the summer after my freshman year of college (1995). I was accepted and fought my way through during the time my bipolar was really taking off (but before I knew it). I started working at my first job in Jan. 2001 and my last day of work was Aug. 6, 2011. I had no idea that was going to be the last day; I was going to be off for a minor gyn surgery later that month and wound up being taken off work earlier so I could be on pain meds until surgery. After surgery I had problems caused by meds and problems caused by hormones from my Mirena IUD and it made my bipolar worse. I tried to go back to work but never even saw a patient before work and I agreed I wasn't ready.

Since then I've maintained my license in a holding state that you can only do for so long. This year is the end of that time and since I can't meet the requirements to re-establish it it is going to expire. That happens June 30.

I worked so hard and dreamed of being an OT for years. I remember in school when I'd get frustrated I'd sit and write "Beyond the Rainbow, OTR/L" just to feel better and remind me to stick to my goals. And now that goal is over.

I can't believe it is over.