also i dont know why i have such a hard time speaking up...

i think its part of my personality problems too...

the neurologist/pschologist guy said i had avoidant personality traits and that i can be meek and un assertive...

but i have been working on being assertive... working on my social phobia... and speaking up... and ive been doing better with that...

but its just sometimes when people talk i cant understand because its like they speak so fast i cant put the words together in my head... but they arent talking fast its just that the words are not registering... and thats when im sober too...

when im under stress usually... like when im in therapy and the therapist is talking and im trying hard to listen and im not able to understand the simple things they are saying...

or they say something and i just have automatic responses or go on auto pilot because i get stressed out and shutdown or something...?