feels so lonely

maybe this is what it feels like to be a zombie....

walking dead...

emotions are ****ed

they have a life of their own, i dont even own my emotions anymore...

i dont even know if i have emotions anymore

i dont know what i feel, who am i anymore

what i do know is this is some ****ed up ****

and it feels like im all alone... and i dont wanna be alone

i just want people to understand me

i just want people to know whats happening so they can get it...

so that maybe i can understand it too and maybe they wont judge me and hurt me anymore...

the world is so scary and unfair

people dont give a **** about how sensitive my feelings are, about how sensitive the words they use can be... how 1 thing they say can make everything crash down, when its not even related to anything but it can ruin everything...

just because my mind ****s with me

i just wish i didnt feel so empty... i keep trying to fill it... but nothing is filling the emptyness.. how do i fill it? how to i make it go away? what do i do? how do i fix it?

how do i add substance to my being? how do i add volume to who i am?
how do i fill the void that consumes me...?

what the hell am i supposed to do...