Hi Rainbow. I can hear your sadness. It sounds like you are realising a lot, and that the truth is a hard one to realise. It is a hard one to realise, that what we so desperately crave, does not exist. That may be different for different people, but for me, this is true and it hurts.

I am not sure that you know exactly what it is that you search for, but it sounds similar to what I search for. A deep connection. Someone who knows you inside out, is there for you all of the time, has your best interests at heart, includes you in everything that they do etc etc.

This may be way off base, and ignore it if it is.

I think that Scarlet is right, unfortunately. We are the answer. We are all that we have, and that realisation is an incredibly difficult one.

I hope you can find some peace, because I think that good things come to those who are. I am thinking of you.