Hi, bellap19, and welcome to Psych Central! You ask some great questions. I wish I knew all the answers. My thoughts, though:

I suspect there is some misogyny going on.

I do think people change some as they age, and especially if they get treatment for personality issues.

As far as the divorce rate, I think it has more to do with lack of communication and not knowing someone as well as thought. And, as I say, people can change. In fact I've read that men marry women hoping they'll remain the same, and women marry men hoping they'll change--and they're both usually disappointed!

No system of diagnosis is perfect so far. Personality disorders reflect consistent ways of dealing with the world--but many of them can be lessened or overcome. Of course, it could well be that you were misdiagnosed to begin with.

Again, welcome! Good to have you here.