One is alone in one's darkest times. It's "nice" to have a T to call or e-mail but I find it a bit of an illusion. Most of my bad times were aggravated because I wasn't able yet to be present and catch/tell my T what was going on during sessions. As soon as I quit writing her letters (and mailing them to her office) several times a week and restricted myself to being with her during sessions and only communicating with her during sessions, I started to improve really really fast. That was only after about 6-7 years! I still remember the day I started to drive home (1-1/2 to 2 hour drive) and, usually, I'd be upset and crying about something but I looked around inside myself and it was all "quiet" and peaceful and there were no monsters or bogs anymore threatening me. That made me look harder :-) and I was amazed that "nothing" happened. I couldn't upset myself even trying to.