Hey all. i think im taking a hiatus again. Im just fighting lows and highs a LOT this last month. I dont know if its the holidaze or the fact that I am not working/making money and not paying bills. it sure dont feel good this christmas. Im still at my moms and fighting going home. but alas i am leaving on tuesday. I just feel like regardless of whom i try to help or what I do, that this feeling wont go away. Dont think i can be of much help here.

I want to make friends with you all. But I feel like I wouldnt do anybody any good. Woke up in a stupor, due to a dream i had. Not a good one. Hopefully I didnt wake my mom. Didnt appear to. Seems like lately it take a miniscule amount of dread to bring a low about again.

I stay positive for like an hour....then....its gone in an instant. Going to try to go back to bed...think about it more later.

Will see you all soon I hope
Colleen