T,
I really want to email you how I am feeling about our upcoming sessions, but after the way you kind of shut down our email back and forth last week I am thinking maybe I will just wait. Here is the thing though, I am feeling all kinds of anxiety about coming. I mean, sure I know why.. I got pissy with you, you gave some BS excuse, and I shot back at you something even more pissy. So, there is that.. I am feeling like a little kid waiting to be disciplined (hello transference).

However, I recognize there is something bigger going on here and I am sure you do as well. I have an appointment with you on Tuesday- where we talked about the needy feelings that I am having, the too much feelings- thus outing my dependence on you. Then you do something, sure it was crappy, and I am still angry about that, but I think it was a convenient way to try to not feel so close to you. Or away to get you to say, ok time to put some distance between the two of us. It's like I am finding ways to mess this up. And as most people here seem to see, you are a pretty decent T and we have a pretty decent relationship and maybe that is just too scary of a thing for me to handle right now?

Again- I emphasize, I am not letting you off the hook for the crappy think you did.. I just think that I am more scared about the feelings we are going to talk about surround the events. And YES- maybe feeling a little like I am going to get reprimanded or something. I really want to email all this to you before I see you on Friday.. because I am really afraid that this anxiety is going to over take me and I am just not going to show up.