I had an abusive mother and an abusive husband. My kids put all their fears and my ex's on to me. Now I have a boyfriend who searches for himself by going out with beautiful girls and to parties. He doesn't cheat, he relives the youth he didn't have. He is so nice and gentle but I am going to break up with him. I like the idea of learning to say "No," that l am just human too. The hard part is sitting with my want to hug someone because I didn't feel I got enough love to survive when I was little. When I feel down I am going to keep looking for love, for friendship and learn to act like I count and I can say "No," when someone hurts me.