</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i keep forgetting to find out what I should do if things get real bad

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Kiya, I think it is really a good idea for you to work out with your T an "action plan" about what to do if you feel you are in a crisis. Like, does your T want you to call her, call a crisis center, call a trusted friend or family member? It is important to have a plan so that when you are in crisis, you don't have to think about what you are supposed to do, you just do it.

My T does not take phone calls about therapy related issues, in general, just scheduling and so on. He's a really busy guy and keeps therapy to the one hour a week I pay him for. He is even bad about answering calls about scheduling, and I have learned not to depend on him for this. He does accept brief emails, but not the kind where the client pours out her heart in paragraph after paragraph. I really have to have a good reason to email him and try to keep it to no more than a few sentences. There was one time I was in a bad way and shot off a long email to my lawyer, and got a call back from my T! I guess L called T and told him to call me. He gave me a supportive call and also wanted to know why I hadn't called him if I was having such trouble. Frankly, it never occurred to me! I didn't know he would give support over the phone when times were bad. Anyway, he said call him again in a similar situation, but one hasn't arisen. I'm not sure I would, anyhow. I am very respectful of his boundaries, and probably do just as much at maintaining them as he does.

I think one thing that can help ease your mind and stop your T's email and phone behavior from being a source of frustration is to discuss them with her so that there is clear understanding of her policy. Then you won't be disappointed if you don't get a call or email back because you know it is not her policy. And this can save you from attempting to contact her when there will be no response (which can hurt!).

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
it is terrible to think one is alone in the darkest times.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That is indeed so very hard. One of the first things my first T had me do work on building up my support network outside of therapy. She told me she couldn't do it all. So I worked on building up relationships with friends and family. It was hard since I was so depressed, but it was a worthwhile goal and I made some progress. Do you have any support besides your T?