It's a good idea to apply for disability payments if you really need them. I was severely ill for 3 years before a social worker told me I might qualify for benefits. I knew nothing about the system, how to apply, what to expect, and he walked me through the whole thing. Today I am on benefits and able to go at my own pace, which is damned slow. There is no way I could hold down a job, like this. It's a limited life, but at least it's a life. Good luck exploring benefits and what it takes to get on them, and best of luck attacking your illness and pushing back the darkness.