Not only it was an ethical violation but she broke the law. Plain and simple. A breach of confidentiality, with the exception of the cases when the law allows or mandates to breach it, is not only an ethical issue, it's a legal issue. In my state what she did is punishable by either $5,000 fine (I am not sure if the amount is correct though) or 6 moths of imprisonment.

Not only she had no right to talk to that guy about your problem, but she had no right to tell you about her other patients even if she did it for therapeutic purpose. Just because you never had an issue with that doesn't mean she was allowed to do that. She wasn't.

Her intentions don't matter. When the professional ethics and/or the professional law gets broken, it is what it is, no matter what the intentions were. Besides, in addition to the broken law and ethical standard, it is immoral to force this kind of "help" on the person when he made it crystal clear that he didn't want it.

It IS a major betrayal and I strongly suggest you to report her to her licensing board. I am sorry you had to go through this. Absolutely outrageous.